Tonight was a hard one.

Tonight you cried.

Tonight the enormity of what happened to your body washed over you. 

Tonight the loss of time that never returns hit you like a wall and you wept for your baby who is looking more like a boy every day.

Tonight you needed comfort and you needed reassurance.

Most of all you needed love.

You are so frail. I am shocked every time I see it.

But you are so strong. Stronger than anyone I have ever known. 

We talked about Purpose.

We talked about Reasons.

We talked about bargaining with fate.

We're halfway through.

Stages and milestones are ahead and we'll deal with them together.

In grief your entire body was wracked with pain. The magic that is holding you together, healing you so quickly, had to give way to this stage of grief and sorrow.

You are beautiful.

You are giving.

You are a good friend and sister and daughter.

You are an amazing mother.

You touch lives every day and you have touched my life so deeply, my dear sweet love, I will never be the same.

You are the unexpected sunrise and I am grateful to live another day in your light.

Tonight you cried.

I listened.

We spoke in soft tones.

And wouldn't you know it?

We began to laugh.

That laugh that sounds like a sudden rush of water in a trickling stream and fades into the gentle chuckling of a little brook. You are so soft and kind.

Why did this happen?

Maybe for that one moment when sorrow transformed into wistful wisdom.

Maybe for something more.

Whatever it is, we'll find out.

Together. 

Clarice was given an afternoon pass and so I took her home! She has lost a lot of weight -about 30 pounds- but if she doesn't tax herself too much she can walk a bit.

She can't really move the fingers in her left hand yet but she will. She will.

She has been healing extraordinarily fast and well. They didn't think she would be getting a day pass for weeks yet. But she continues to surprise.

It's the prayers and well wishes. It's the light, love and beauty you are sending. Please do the same for each other and for everyone.

This is from her brother, Joel (who is in the photo with Clarice above):

"Nearly a month since the accident and my sister was able to come home for a short visit. Made me smile seeing her play with Liam, then made me laugh when she couldn't get up from off the ground...still some healing to come! Watched her walk (carefully and slowly) up the stairs while reminding myself that less than 4 weeks ago her spine was fractured and all her ribs broken. Always has been, and will continue to be inspiring - me and your baby boy can't wait for you to be home for good big sis!" 

The healing process isn't always pretty.

I'm taking photos of Clarice, but some of them are obviously a little too graphic to put up. Not many people want to see pins sticking out of an emaciated hand, or the swelling of a face after jaw surgery. 

But these things make us happy. The fact that her hand can be uncovered for inspection and new wrappings means she is on the mend. The swelling of her face means the worst is over and in a few weeks Clarice will eat non-puréed food again.

But as I said, it doesn't look appealing.

If you are on a healing path, you'll find that sometimes that's not very pretty, either.

There will be moments of despair, moments where you feel lost or that you look back, wondering if you should have just stayed where you were. You know that pace, it's familiar. Taking this new journey holds many things that you are not prepared for.

And sometimes, even though you are trying to become a more fulfilled, more giving, more loving and patient person than you were before...well, you stumble.

You lash out, or you curl up in a ball and cry.

The healing path holds many of these stopping points where you feel like a failure, like you've betrayed yourself and others for not being perfect....for making mistakes.

That's the world talking to you and through you.

The world of illusion that says you must never falter, that weakness is not allowed, that if you are not projecting a fully evolved or enlightened face then you are somehow less of a person.

This is what fear tells us. And we buy into it.

Fear makes us do a lot of things that are unhealthy for us. It immoblizes us, it makes us stiff and unyielding, and that makes us weak. When we are not moving, not falling, not getting back up again and going on...we're not using our muscles, we're not building strength.

And we are made to be strong.

We are made to be whole.

We are made to change and heal and help each other.

We have such a short time here. Such a short time to live and laugh and love and listen.

In a moment, it's all over.

But allow yourself to be human, to make mistakes and learn, to be strong by allowing your weaknesses to show, to give the best of yourself as often as you can and encourage the same thing in others...then that moment will become a beautiful eternity.

We are all in a world that isn't fair. We are all in a world that is hurting.

Let's get up, brush ourselves off, lend a hand to others and move forward. 

Let's sing a song of beauty.

Let's live a life of worth.

We are wounded but we are healing.

And as we heal, so too will this earth.

Many want the world to end, I for one want it to flower. I want my generations seven times removed from me to live in a place of beauty and peace. It starts right now, with you and me.

We are more powerful than guns, bombs, greed or fear.

We are more powerful than anyone who would harm a child or destroy a community for their own benefit.

We are more powerful than anything that would keep us down.

We all want a world where we are kind to each other where we can breathe clean air, drink clean water, eat clean food. We all want a world where we can praise the Creator and honor our Mother, the earth.

The only thing stopping us is fear of the journey.

The healing path isn't always easy, but I promise you:

It's worth it.

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On June 21, 2012, please find a place that has power for you, gather with people who have meaning to you, and pray for everyone, everything, and everywhere. Pray for those who do good, but especially pray for those who destroy - they are the ones suffering the most, even if they don't know it.

Give thanks, give praise, and commit yourself to the kind of world you would like to see. It doesn't take a mob, it takes a voice. It won't happen in anger, it can only be born out of love.

June 21, 2012

Let's start sowing the seeds for our children. It's time to stop wishing and to take the first steps. 

How awesome is that?

June 21, 2012 

With her jaw healing, Clarice is sampling only the finest of hospital cuisine: purée du everything. :)

Incredibly, she loves it. She loves everything right now.

 So it's been two weeks since the accident and Clarice's initial life saving surgeries.

What we didn't expect at that time is that we would be happy today.

We didn't expect to be laughing and hopeful and full of excitement for the future.

How could we?

We are taught that every tragedy must be borne with a heavy heart, constant worry, and a perpetual sadness.

We're taught that the world is a harsh place, a dangerous place and unforgiving.

We're taught to suffer.

I don't know why we are taught these things. Perhaps it's so our expectations will be low and we can avoid disappointment.

Perhaps it's so we are armed against those who would take advantage of us.

Perhaps it's because it's the way we've always been taught and we never stopped to question it.

But this is what we have learned:

We've learned that the world, while containing it's many dangers, will almost always prove that it's good.

We've learned that prayers are real and that they work. Call them what you want. Meditations, well wishes, healing energy, quantum love, ritual, ceremony, mass, temple, offerings, any term you care to give. There is an energy, strength and light to these things and we have felt it in our lives directly.

We've learned that we hope everyone feels that power in their own lives.

Yes, this is a world of struggle.

And yes. This is a world of light.

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We have heard a lot of your stories.

So many moments of heartbreak, loss and sorrow.

We cried with you.

We have heard just as many stories of triumph, overcoming, of winning against all odds.

And we cheered for you!

And we received so many wishes and warm letters and amazing moments.

Like the church in the Philippines. The entire congregation prayed for Clarice's health.

The community in Africa that is working to make their village a safer, healthier place.

The tens of thousands of pledges we have received from people who are promising to drive safer, to slow down, to put away their mobile phones, and by doing so - save lives.

We have heard from you in the Netherlands, in Australia, in India, China, Hawaii, New Zealand, Indonesia, Korea, Serbia, France, London, Argentina, Chile, Kenya, Egypt, and on and on. 

Every place on earth we can imagine has sent their warmth.

We have been lifted by you, by the Creator, by our ancestors, by angels.

We have been served so well and kindly by expert medical staff. Doctors, Nurses, technicians, support staff.

This has been an experience that has completely changed the direction and quality of our lives and we are speechless.

All we want is to share this experience, share this message.

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But first, there is healing.

As many of you know, the rehab is more painful than the initial injuries, and spread over a much longer time.

Tomorrow or even Saturday, Clarice will be moving out of the hospital into a Rehabilitation Centre.

Two weeks after her accident she is going to Rehab.

That is a miracle.

Her wounds are healing, some are gone already.

She had a huge scrape across the left side of her face and the back of her ear was shredded. There's almost nothing left now after healing but smooth, soft skin. We have been using coconut oil.

The bones are still knitting, and there may be long term issues with her spine...but we have faith that she will be pretty much as good as new.

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Once the swelling on Clarice's face is down, we will probably be filming the rehab process. 

We will also be filming the people who helped us through this journey. At least the ones who are willing. We are making a documentary.

But let's not get ahead of ourselves.

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For now, we are uncertain what the future holds, but we certainly want to find out!

And we want to thank you once again. Maybe it feels like we are doing that too much, but for us it will never be enough.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

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Please join us and the rest of the world on June 21, 2012 as we raise our hearts, hopes, and voices in prayer.

Pray for your loved ones.

Pray for your enemies.

Pray for All Good Things.

Be kind, giving, and forgiving.

Remember we are family.

In the old times, when two warriors of a tribe fought, they would then have to become brothers. They would become each others greatest allies.

Do you understand?

We are family.

Let's take care of each other.

Hiy Hiy.

Clarice's surgery went well. She will lose an additional 20-30 lbs on top of the 10 already.

That's a lot of muscle mass.

However, she is in good spirits and we'll do what we can to keep her weight up.

She can't speak much but she sends her heartfelt thanks.

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At night before we have to part, we talk quietly and closely. If you are married you will know that sometimes that intimacy gets lost in the day to day hubbub. It's been renewing for us and restrengthening our relationship. 

Last night she spoke of starting a foundation. It would raise awareness of Responsible Driving and help families who have been affected. Unlike many diseases and issues that plague humankind this one is 100% preventable.

She has survived. She has a voice.

And she will use it. 

I've been meaning to update an now I will have a couple hours. Clarice is heading into surgery for her jaw. I'll let you know how it goes. 

***********************************************************

Later that day.....

Healing one step at a time
Watch this and PLEASE SHARE it. It's an update on Clarice, a recap, and an invitation to the world. 

Together, through our small daily acts and our mindfulness we can make this world a better place for our children now, and for all children who come after. 

It won't take much, just a commitment to live fearlessly, lovingly, and true to the spirit that whispers warmth to our souls.

Share this message, please.

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There is a long, painful road ahead.

To help with the costs of rehabilitation and to get your free downloads:

http://www.aaronpaquette.net/?page_id=924

Facebook groups:

Compassion for Clarice
https://www.facebook.com/events/371181922945803/

Art Auction & Community Celebration
https://www.facebook.com/groups/397241473660166/

Get Clarice on Ellen
https://www.facebook.com/groups/394041763966383/

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A little bit of extra information:

This rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was the song Clarice walked down the aisle to for our wedding.

June 21 is Summer Solstice, when the sun shines the longest in the Northern Hemisphere. In the Southern Hemisphere it marks the return of the sun after the long nights.

June 21 is also National Aboriginal Day.

In some First Nations cultures, they mark this time with a Sundance. A Ceremony where the participants fast, pray and dance as an offering of humility and to ask for blessings for their loved ones and for all the creatures of the earth to be in harmony and balance.

In Native American philosophy, we are composed of spheres. Or hoops. There is the personal hoop, the family, the community and the world. Over it all stands the tree of life. We are all in this great hoop together, the people, the plants, the animals, everything. What one does affects us all.

Prayers, intentions, meditations, gatherings, ceremony, all are rituals by which we seek a common good. All beliefs are welcome on this day, all acts of kindness are welcome, all laying down of arms.

Please choose on this day to become a warrior.

A warrior for life.

A warrior who doesn't seek to fight, but to love. A warrior who changes the world by changing her or his own heart. A warrior who knows their job is to uplift and protect.

And that protection means service and that service comes from humility.

A warrior gets educated. A warrior puts aside anger, judgement, hate and fear.

A warrior is not wearied by the ills of the world, but instead is energized by the overabundance of goodness and health in the world.

And by doing all that, makes every good thing true.

On June 21, become a Warrior.

Hiy Hiy

(thank you, in Cree)

The Edmonton Police are in our community. 

They set up a speed monitoring station and discovered that people routinely speed down our community road.

One person was going 78. The limit here is 50.

As they told me this a small child was walking home, big backpack on his shoulders.

I couldn't help think what if.

The police all know Clarice's story. They have it printed out and up on their station wall.

Liam got to meet them and one officer even offered his babysitting services down the line when Clarice is good enough to go out for dinner!

I hope the good man in the photo doesn't mind that he's online. If so, I'll take down the picture immediately.

He was awesome.

He's not single.


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One of the gratifying results that has come out of Clarice's accident is how many people are pledging to pay attention at all times while they are driving. To drive responsibly.

This will save lives. This *is* saving lives as I type this.

You made it happen.

By sharing this post:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150935540728754&set=a.407683733753.184728.34759153753&

You have saved peoples lives. They will never know it, but it's true.

Help us to keep that little boy with his backpack safe. Help him get home safe from school. Share this story again today. 

I would never have asked that before.

I am a severe introvert but this experience has taught our family that there are far more important things than our personal comfort.

So let's step out of our comfort zone. Share this story so others can share theirs and we can learn from each other.

If you have already shared it, thank you. Consider sharing again as messages get lost so easily in this fast paced world.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150935540728754&set=a.407683733753.184728.34759153753&

Thank you 

So Clarice got to go on a field trip today. We went with these amazing paramedics, Davey and Darren, to the University of Alberta Hospital where it was determined Clarice does indeed have a broken mandible (jaw) and will be undergoing surgery soon to have permanent titanium plates applied.

They were so great, I can't say enough good things about them.

I also have an update about our incredible police department but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

Thank you again for your strength. It is supporting in ways I will have to relay when there is more time.

And I will be attempting to thank each and evey one of you over the next many months or years, however long it takes.


Ps. Davey is single. He's on the left.

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Never doubt that you are good. It doesn't matter what you've done in the past, each new minute you are reborn, each new minute you can make a choice to become the miracle you are.

The first steps are always the toughest and it may seem you're getting nowhere fast. But every time you decide to do what's in your heart you get closer to your purpose.

Keep going!

There will always be those who try to hold you down. Even yourself! Love them. love yourself. It builds your strength. And just maybe you will ignite a spark in others' hearts to follow.


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A short word on prayer.

It works.


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June 21. 2012

Sounds like a good day to change the world, doesn't it? 

Yesterday they took Clarice's last chest tube out. The healing of her body has been miraculous. The bones are still broken, her back is still in horrible pain, but she can breathe on her own.

Last night Clarice's brother brought our little one to the hospital. It had been a week since Clarice saw him. He was sleeping so we gently placed him beside her. For a moment he woke up and looked at her face, sighed and fell into a deeper sleep.

She was able to touch him and love him and see that he was all right.

When he finally awoke, we picked him up and all took turns holding him so he wouldn't hurt her broken ribs or spine. 

But now she has a heart full of love and even more determination to get well.

I truly believe - no wait - I *know* it is your prayers making this possible. I asked a nurse if it was just me, or was Clarice healing phenomenally quickly.

She got serious for a moment and said, "No. To tell you the truth, I have never seen anything like this before."

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Clarice is the type of woman who wants people to be happy. Even when she can barely speak she is trying to make her visitors laugh. After a number of requests for interviews (of course she can't, she doesn't have the strength for something like that) she joked that the only show she would go on was Ellen.

Imagine her surprise when she saw this:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/394041763966383/

This time she is the one who almost laughed. Almost, because if she let it out her ribs would not be tickled.

If you feel inclined, please join that group. We are looking for as many moments of happiness for my brave wife as possible.

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It's thanks to you. We will never be able to repay the world for it's kindness, but we will always try to pay it forward.

Thank you for being a brilliant shining light for us. We have a long journey ahead and your candles are leading us home.

Pray for each other as you have prayed for Clarice, act in kindness and light, and the world will change. It will become healed.

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For your prayers and well wishes I offer a free download of one of my paintings. It is in high resolution, suitable for printing and framing. It isn't much compared to what you have given us, but I offer it with deepest thanks.

http://www.aaronpaquette.net/?page_id=924

While we are accepting them, there is no donation necessary for the gift. Your goodness is enough. 

So grateful for a new day!

There are some pretty terrible things happening in the world today but there are also some pretty beautiful things.

You are beautiful.

And that's important to remember. It's your inherent beauty, will, desire and depth that shapes this world. Never forget that.

The world you see, you inherited.

The world that will be, you create.

With gentleness, care, loving action, and prayer.

It's what you were made for.

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Clarice is talking. In pain. Broken. But talking. And smiling. 

Thank you for the light you have created in our lives. 

As you helped heal her, please turn your power to healing each other.

We love your prayers, they make more difference than you will ever know. We welcome them, need them, and give our deepest thanks for them.

Hiy hiy